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Empowering Others I got frustrated with my agility trainer last night when she reminded me, for the millionth time, that I should not be giving Fergi treats from my hand; I should be rewarding her by throwing her ball, which has a big chunk of salmon inside (and thereby rewarding her away from me). Treating…

What is your story, the story of your life, the reason for your existence? As I sit quietly amidst the background chatter at Quincy Market on a sweltering summer day, I am realizing that our story is less about what we can tell, and more about what we will experience, share, and contribute. Many of…

Success Even In Less Than Ideal Circumstances Last month, Fergi and I spent 2 days at one of our favorite outdoor agility shows in Cato, New York, a beautiful rural area in upstate. The conditions of the show were perfect:  warm, sunny days, no rain and very little wind; Fergi was in good physical condition…

What is holding you back?  What is weighing you down?  What are you holding on to too tightly? Recently, I became aware of something that I was holding on to, carrying the baggage, feeling the weight of. Awareness is key to change.  Take some quiet time to reflect today.

What is it about our instinct or intuitive nudges – those feelings that occur when our brains draw on past experiences and external cues so quickly that our consciousness doesn’t have time to register them – that we just don’t trust? Is it the lack of hard data or could it be our fear of…

Passion and Performance I was commenting to a friend during agility class this week about her border collie’s amazing drive when he gets in the ring. When he’s running a course, his head is down, he barks like crazy, and he flies over the jumps so fast one wonders if he even sees them there…

. . . you learned in kindergarten! I love the phrase “common sense is not always common practice.” It is so true! I believe if we thought logically about how we would like to act or show up in our relationships, our actions and interactions would be different. Our relationships would be positively impacted by those logical beliefs…

I work with several clients who, immediately after discussing an area of their lives they feel is somehow lacking, delve right into all the things they are grateful for – healthy children, their job, etc. It’s almost as if they feel guilty for wanting more, when in fact it was that very “wanting” which brought…

We hear more and more about balance and the balanced life these days. But be careful – this is an illusion, a trap, something that will have you frustrated most of the time. And balance may not even be what we’re seeking. Much of the problem stems from our definition of balance and what we…

You might think that after 11 years of agility training, seven of them with Fergi, we’d be masters of the sport, covered in ribbons and accolades, our picture on the cover of Clean Run magazine (a publication dedicated to the sport of dog agility), but that’s not how it works. At every class we learn…

Recently I have been intrigued with the concept of connectedness. The online definition intrigued me further:united, joined, or linked. joined together in sequence; linked coherently: connected ideas. We are all connected in our relationships and interactions. Everything we do – every action or reaction – has an effect on all the people around us, even…

Mondays are agility training night for Fergi and me. Agility is a sport that requires a dog and his handler to negotiate an obstacle course, racing against a clock and completing the obstacles correctly and in the designated order. It’s funny; we call it “dog training,” but it’s primarily “people training.” Classes are intended to…

What is it about finishing? I find myself asking that question a lot lately as my son finishes his junior year of high school. While it is not always easy to get started, it seems that many people have even more trouble finishing. Many of us are in a hurry to leave whatever we’re doing…

In the agility world, a significant amount of training time is spent on “handling.” Handling includes hand signals, body positioning, or other moves I use to show Fergi where we are going on the obstacle course; there is a variety of such signals, positioning and moves that all mean different things. We recently learned a…

“What? How can it be valuable if I don’t get the outcome I want?” I remember my first reaction to what appeared to be this outrageous and unrealistic idea of not being attached to the outcome. How can that be? How can I achieve my goals and stay focused if I am not attached to…

From the first time we’re tossed in the air as a baby – and caught – to the first time our own babies are tossed in the air – and caught – we are learning about trust … the trust we have in others, and the trust others have in us. Beginning with that relationship…

So many of us with busy schedules are finding less and less time to connect with our significant relationships. Over the past couple years, I have found that some of the best connections with my people have happened in the car; using that time between activities and commitments to connect and be present with each…

Like most of you, every day I’m learning something new about what it really takes to be a great leader.  I’ve invested a staggering amount of time and money reading and taking classes, I’ve applied what I’ve learned successfully and not so successfully, and – as cliché as it sounds – I’ve learned most from…

We are overwhelmed and consistently inundated with so much data that we overthink almost everything. We find ourselves trapped in our heads – virtually disconnected from our bodies, and consequently not engaged in enough feeling or intuiting as part of our process of interacting and deciding. We find ourselves somewhere other than the present. And…

In my moving-fast, “get it done” plan of action for this week, I once again overlooked a fundamentally important element of that plan – I forgot to take the time in my significant relationship to share our mutual intention. It then seems less like an intention and more like me, barking orders or giving suggestions…

It starts with the Declaration of Independence, moves to the Protestant work ethic, and is followed by Hoover’s “rugged individualism.” Let’s not forget class ranking, top sales reps, and all of the other things that focus on individual effort, achievement, and an overall emphasis on independence rather than interdependence. It helps me understand the statement…

Spring officially arrived on March 20, and I am already getting spring fever with the latest crop of nice weather.  The sunny days, warm temperatures and budding flowers not only make me feel more energized – they make me feel like I have a clean slate, somehow. Like the flowers every year, they make me…