The Leadership Balancing Act

*Note: The following text is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

Bill Berthel

Welcome. I’m Bill Berthel and this is the Get Emergent podcast. Our team at Emergent has worked with leaders from all different industries at all different levels. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the 20 plus years of our business, is that leadership is a continued conversation. We’re glad you’re here. Welcome back to the Get Emergent podcast. We’re glad you’re here listening again and welcome back. Newell. Newell. Thank you. I’m looking forward to this conversation around stress. I think we all have it. There are good forms and less resourceful forms of stress. I think we’re going to mostly focus on stress and leadership and how that might affect our performance and our teams and ourselves. I think we sometimes forget ourselves and the effect of stress. Maybe until it’s a breaking point or something we remember. But let’s get more proactive and creative than that. So got stress

Newell Eaton

course?

Bill Berthel

A little bit.

Newell Eaton

Of course. It’s not every day I’m sitting in front of a camera.

Bill Berthel

Yethat’s right.

Newell Eaton

There might be some stress. That’s right.

Bill Berthel

Sure, sure.

Newell Eaton

Yeof course. I’m with you. So how can I feel stress?

Bill Berthel

Well, I hope I have a calming effect on most people, but still there’s performance stress and anxiety. Right. I have a colleague who approached me and said, you never seem nervous when you go into a training session. I’m like, let me tell you what I am like hiding from you right now. Right. Like it’s the classic duck on a pond. Right. The feet are doing that, but on the surface you don’t see it. So I’ve learned how to mask that or cover it.

Bill Berthel

Sometimes resourcefully, sometimes not.

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

But as leaders we have a responsibility to stress in ourselves, don’t we?

Newell Eaton

Right. For our work with teams and leaders, where it becomes critical is how is it affecting the performance of the team and the leader? Why does it matter how many people are out sick because of not they claim, you know, and it’s not a claim, that’s real. They’re physically being impacted. But how much of it really is related to. Could be the stress at work, could be the stress at home, could be the stress in the world, or it’s a combination of those things, as you’re pointing out. Do they come from a background? You know, this is where people get into therapy and trauma. We’re not here to do that kind of work.

Bill Berthel

No.

Newell Eaton

Although sometimes we get asked to.

Bill Berthel

No. I could use some of that work, but that’s not what I’m here for right now.

Newell Eaton

That’s right.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

In terms of it. So from an organizational perspective, for leaders to really recognize how it’s impacting their teams and how it’s impacting themselves becomes very important for the performance. Innovation and other things about a team becomes pretty central.

Bill Berthel

So resourceful stress could help me perforYemaybe. well, this isn’t a maybe. I’m the kind of person that. That does thrive a little bit on the deadline coming up. Right. That gets me a little More creative. It actually, it makes me polish it up or finish it. Right. Get to the finish line. but there are other stressors that are much less resourceful.

Newell Eaton

Exactly.

Bill Berthel

Yeah. So what’s. What’s happening there for us?

Newell Eaton

Well, like I was saying, a little bit. It’s. You know, there’s so much. If one pays attention to the news and M doesn’t get stressed. You must be an automaton.

Bill Berthel

I mean, that’s a robot, right?

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Okay.

Newell Eaton

Because you’re hearing about things that are designed to generate fear. That’s one. What I’ve more recently learned is the feelings come from what’s going on in our bodies. And the bodies is where stress comes froSo in order for us to address stress, we really need to start focusing on our body. Wow.

Bill Berthel

Okay.

Newell Eaton

You know.

Bill Berthel

Okay. So it’s a little bit of get out of my head and get out of my feelings and embody. That’s, Right. An awareness of embodiment of stress.

Newell Eaton

Exactly.

Bill Berthel

Yeah. Yeah.

Newell Eaton

You know, and we notice it in our feelings, but I mean, that’s where we get in touch with it.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

we name it as an emotion.

Bill Berthel

Okay.

Newell Eaton

But the emotion comes from a sensation that’s happening through our body. So it’s different for me now when I’m coaching is I’m helping people get in touch with their body. With the techies I work with. I said, look, your body is not a brain taxi.

Bill Berthel

Oh, I think. Was it Ken Robinson, the, educator TEDx? Oh, he’s so funny. If you haven’t watched it.

Newell Eaton

Oh, he’s fabulous.

Bill Berthel

he talks about academics and he is an academic. So he’s picking on himself a little bit. And he said, most academics do believe that their bodies are a brain taxi. And if you need proof of that, go to a party where there’s a lot of academics and watch them dance. It’s just not happening. But your point that our. Our bodies are more than this thing just carrying around our. Our brains, which are thinking.

Newell Eaton

Yestop for a moment. It’s. It’s. It’s about noticing, you know, in the coaching practice, to. For the moment, it’s like, take a moment, then notice how you’re feeling.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

that’s, you know, what. What word would you use or words would you use? And, you know, I loved your reframing, in terms of it. But whatever they say with it, you know, to name that, it’s like, okay.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

And then to say, is there a place physically that you can name where it rests in your body? That’s a big shift for people. They don’t. You know, I might start with. It’s like, wiggle your toes.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

So that you recognize you are a body, first and foremost.

Bill Berthel

Get theJust get your feet on the ground

Newell Eaton

just to recognize you are. That’s why we’re now talking more about embodiment. Right.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

or somatic intelligence.

Bill Berthel

Somatic intelligence.

Newell Eaton

Not just emotional. That’s somatic. The soma.

Bill Berthel

Yes.

Newell Eaton

In terms of it. And so that’s. Many people don’t even begin to pay attention to that. They might after they’ve been running. Right?

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

Or they’re physically exercising. It’s like, oh, I. I need this.

Bill Berthel

They feel the ache. They feel this.

Newell Eaton

Because that’s very physical. But if you’re sitting in your chair and someone, you know irritates you, you know, you’ll remember the emotion. You’re not paying attention to the fact, my God, you know, I’m sweating, you know, I’m ready to kill thethat the body moves. So really, what. What this suggests for leaders and teams is to spend some time to notice. To embody yourself, to notice where your body is. That’s the. And to name it. To name the emotion and to notice how you’re physically feeling.

Bill Berthel

I’m starting to feel like I’m, not as somatically intelligent as I’d like to be. So body scanning, maybe Just like putting awareness to my body. Taking that pause. Right. What am I noticing exactly? What am I feeling? Name it.

Newell Eaton

And when your people are stressed, particularly, let’s say you go into a team meeting.

Bill Berthel

Sure.

Newell Eaton

I have a great story about this. how do people become fully present? We use the present language. Fully present isn’t just mentally alert and awake. It’s like to be body ready. So I will often go. If I’m with engineer types, which I work a lot with, I’ll say, when your computer breaks down, what do you do? You reboot it. So let’s reboot our bodies. So, you know, put Your feet on the ground. You know, just take a moment. If there’s something on your mind, please write it down and put it aside so you can really be present for this meeting. And then just take a moment. If you feel comfortable, close your eyes or look at the ground and just breathe. Breathe normally. That’s where I might start now. Eventually, I might work up into actually some stress reduction techniques where breathe in, breathe a couple of times, and then just do a ha sound out. Yeah.

Bill Berthel

ah.

Newell Eaton

I do that on coaching calls now with some of my techies that.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

Way back when, they would have looked at me like I had three heads.

Bill Berthel

Sure, sure.

Newell Eaton

And there are a bunch of techniques, a couple of which I think would be useful to share on this. I’d, love it in this podcast. I mean, that it could be very helpful that e are quick to do. I mean, sometimes it’s just pausing, which we’ve talked about. Yes, Just pause and breathe. and just notice what’s going on in our body. Whether it’s a body scan or it’s just like, how am I feeling right now? And to breathe. And then there are all these breathing techniques. The book, Breathe by James Nectar has a whole zillion of theGood book. in terms of it, the one I typically will ask leaders to do because it’s fast, is to breathe in through their nose twice and then breathe out through their mouth with a ha sound. So it goes like. And do it two more times. One more time. Ah. Then put a smile on your face. Look at each other.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

And do you notice any difference in how you’re feeling?

Bill Berthel

Oh, my gosh, yes. I actually, tension went out of my, my head and my temples and then went out through my shoulders and like, out my hands. YeyeI did. I felt. YeyeI felt something not quite, wash out of me.

Newell Eaton

Wash out of you?

Bill Berthel

Not wash over. Wash out of me. Yeah.

Newell Eaton

it’s all, you know, the technology or the anatomy on this is. It’s your vagus nerve. That’s where all this polyvagal theory comes about. And, you know, without getting into all the technical language about that, what you’re doing is you’re calming your system down. You’re moving from the fear, you know, fear flight response or the letting it go experience, you know, the vagal nerve is you’re calming it down.

Bill Berthel

What really works for me, that, that kind of breathing. I do a body scan. Breathing exercise.

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

90% of the time before a call or meeting, pretty, pretty regular practice. Not Every, but pretty regular. what works even better for me is actually sauntering. I need to move. So I’ve always been the person who said meditation doesn’t work for me because I can’t sit still. And I think it was Rolf, Rolf Simone, my business partner. And you know, you’ve known Rolf longer than I have said, well, why don’t you try sauntering? So what’s that?

Newell Eaton

Right.

Bill Berthel

So, it’s a walking meditation.

Newell Eaton

That’s right.

Bill Berthel

Right. It’s just being really mindful of feeling your foot touch and then leave the ground.

Newell Eaton

Right.

Bill Berthel

And instead of focusing necessarily on breath work, it’s actually focusing on an intentional movement.

Newell Eaton

Yeah. Yep.

Bill Berthel

And for me, for some of our listeners who can’t sit still, like me, just trying a movement work and sauntering. I do it somewhere very safe. I know the surroundings so I can soften my gaze.

Bill Berthel

So I’m not really watching my feet. M And it can work in a hallway, it can work in a safe path on a trail. Don’t do it in a busy traffic setting. Right. Because you want calm and you want softness.

Newell Eaton

Right.

Bill Berthel

But that sauntering works wonders for me. So I’ll just, I’ll just take a few minutes and saunter.

Newell Eaton

What you’re reminding me of is like, if you’re on a long call. Long zoom call.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

And just saying everybody, you know, if I’m facilitating, it’s like, just take a moment and if there’s a window, look outside. What’s the furthest thing you can see? Focus on it.

Bill Berthel

So changing your focal length.

Newell Eaton

Change your focal length.

Bill Berthel

Too long. Yeyekeep going.

Newell Eaton

And then after that it’s like, can you do, peripherally, how much can you bring in? So like right now, if I’m looking at you, you know, I could focus on the tip of your nose for like a minute and then it’s like, okay, stop that. And now look at how much can you see in the whole room for another minute.

Bill Berthel

Okay.

Newell Eaton

And then come back. So you’re really doing, you’re basically relaxing your eye so that you could be back on the screen. And it also has a calming effect on the system.

Bill Berthel

Oh, brilliant. Right. So the context is in the zoom meeting or the teams meeting. I’ve been perhaps focused in that space. This is a counterbalance.

Newell Eaton

That’s right.

Bill Berthel

Focusing practice.

Newell Eaton

Right.

Bill Berthel

I don’t have direct experience, but I worked with a leader who he, called them listening tours. And he went through. So in the built environment of manufacturing, uh-huh he went through different areas of the entire facility and just paused and listened. Much like. I’d prefer the natural environment of what you did as well. Call me a tree hugger. That’s fine. but he did that as, a sense of a barometer of what was going on in the organization. Where was he hearing stress? Where was he hearing calm? Where was he hearing productivity? He could sense it by just visiting the different areas of the built environment.

Newell Eaton

That’s right.

Bill Berthel

Not, the forest.

Newell Eaton

Right.

Bill Berthel

But we can go on these listening tours in our workplace. We can go on these listening tours in our. In our organization as well.

Newell Eaton

One of the. I was doing quite a bit of work with a couple of companies in New York City a number of years ago, and I would love to get there in the morning when everybody was going to work and get in the elevator and feel the energy of the people and the facial expressions and notions. To read the culture and then at the end of the day to do the elevator tour to just see. You know, you could tell so much from that felt sense of an organization by doing those kinds of things.

Bill Berthel

You’re making me think of the TV show Severance. Did you.

Newell Eaton

1. No, I’ve heard that.

Bill Berthel

Oh. So the elevator was a, critical component. So it was, long story short, the technology that was implanted in their brains. The elevator turned it on or off to create the total division between personal life and work life.

Newell Eaton

Oh, my goodness.

Bill Berthel

Right. So the elevator became that. That transformational portal.

Newell Eaton

Uh-huh.

Bill Berthel

you can imagine all the benefits and problems I have to watch that. It’s. It’s a very different storytelling, through that show as well. I loved it. It’s not for everyone. but your. Your point in this is we do enter and exit places differently. And as leaders, we can be listening, observing, watching for that.

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Maybe some of those are stress points for some individuals. Right. we used to. I used to work with a CEO who begged people not to back into their parking spots. He believed they were looking for a fast exit all day long. I think he was right. There was something about parking head in.

Newell Eaton

Interesting.

Bill Berthel

That had you more energetically committed to the day.

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

So how are people entering and leaving your spaces?

Newell Eaton

Yeah. So, I mean, the point that. I think that’s important. As leaders, you need to work on your own. How do you find techniques that work for you to reduce stress? They’re physical solutions, mainly breathing. There are a lot of breathing techniques. If you just go Google it or use whatever AI you want and say, I’m looking for de stressing, you know, technique, breathing techniques. What would you recommend? You’re going to find a ton of theA lot of them be under vagal or vagal tone. There’s even lots of music that you can use that really is designed to change the frequency of what’s going on in your body.

Bill Berthel

Absolutely.

Newell Eaton

Certain smells work for different people to actually do that, you know, one of them, I go to a yoga program, and afterwards, she always gives us, you know, a new smell each time that she put on her hands.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Newell Eaton

And, you know, I’m already pretty calmed down when I’m in Shavasana, but at that point, it just takes me down to another level.

Bill Berthel

No, it’s another, sense that we can.

Newell Eaton

That’s right.

Bill Berthel

We can use there. So stress brings us closer and close. The unresourceful stress brings us closer and closer to that kind of core performance.

Newell Eaton

And when that happens, you know, double triple apologies are essential. Say that was not me that day or something of that sort. How do you generate forgiveness and restore trust after a situation like that?

Bill Berthel

It’s huge. Right? we sometimes call that the space for grace. But I like the idea of restoring through forgiveness. we have to do the work. It’s not enough to ask for it.

Newell Eaton

No, it’s not.

Bill Berthel

Right. To your point, it was, you know, it’s two or three times the work to do that.

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Yeabsolutely. So no one’s immune to stress.

Newell Eaton

No.

Bill Berthel

We need some of it. Some of it’s resourceful, some of it’s not. We’re just asking leaders to consider how stress is happening in their lives and in their leadership and what they might do to have a counterbalance, a reset, and some regular practice to make them show up as their best leader.

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Newell, thank you.

Newell Eaton

This has been really fun.

Bill Berthel

Appreciate it.

Newell Eaton

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Thank you for being here today, and we hope you picked something up from this episode that you can apply, and we hope you’re looking forward to more. Thanks for being here.