The Power of Small Steps

*Note: The following text is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

Bill Berthel

Welcome. I’m Bill Berthel, and this is the Get Emergent podcast. Our team at Emergent has worked with leaders from all different industries at all different levels. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the 20 plus years of our business, it’s that leadership is a continued conversation. We’re glad you’re here. So, Ralph, we want to talk a little bit about this idea of predictability or uncertainty and how, as people, as humans, we love certainty. We love to be able to predict.

Ralph Simone

We do. And it’s biological.

Bill Berthel

Very. Right. There are so many things attached to this, and I think there’s a relevancy for leadership because I think oftentimes leaders are looked at or looked to for certain decision making, certain direction, certainty. Right?

Ralph Simone

Yeah. And I think they’re feeling, in general, overwhelmed. The more, you know, information overload. Decision fatigue.

Bill Berthel

Yes.

Ralph Simone

Uncertainty about how AI fits into their strategy or their business model. What are the implications of that? And I think you could see quite easily how someone would be almost paralyzed or overwhelmed by that because I don’t know if there ever was certainty.

Bill Berthel

I don’t know if there ever is. I mean, if we get philosophical, but

Ralph Simone

The certainty seems to be getting more and more uncertain.

Bill Berthel

More challenged. Yeah.

Ralph Simone

And I think there are a lot of people struggling with that right now. Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

And what we’re actually doing is making this situation worse.

Bill Berthel

We’re probably adding to the exhaustion we are feeling. Right.

Ralph Simone

We are actually adding to the collective DNA of the organization, which is probably getting close to shutting down because it’s constant. Go, go, go, go, go. And in that haste, we forget about some of the things that we have agency around, you know, and this is a time to come back to our core, our core values, our core principles.

Bill Berthel

Ah.

Ralph Simone

Our core relationships. And, you know, I used to bristle at baby steps when we got taught coaching. But there are steps we can take that provide this agency. Yeah. And so then we begin to build confidence.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

And this is. But part of that is balancing the sympathetic nervous system with the parasympathetic nervous system. So you can’t just keep going.

Bill Berthel

No. I love it. I love it. So, you made me giggle inside for a second around baby steps. I think it was the, you know, remember the movie What About Bob? I think, right? This was baby steps, Gil. Baby steps.

Ralph Simone

Right.

Bill Berthel

It was. That movie almost made that annoying. But it’s so true. Small steps that we have agency to do, I think that’s really key. Can we talk about that, that we have agency? Because I think that helps mitigate some of the uncertainty and confusion. I think it also helps with meaning, especially the way you said anchoring back to values. What I hear in that is you’re anchoring back to elements of meaning we easily forget.

Ralph Simone

I mean, what’s the book, Make Your Bed?

Bill Berthel

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ralph Simone

So, well, that’s an early victory. Right. In the day. So that’s something you have agency over.

Bill Berthel

Right.

Ralph Simone

The agency builds confidence. Confidence builds, when you have core, some level of agility, adaptability, or flexibility. Because part of this adaptiveness, this agility, is being more grounded, grounded in our core principles.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

Right. And so if we come back to the biology of it, it is really from that place of centered groundedness, we can almost do anything, and we can actually be clearer around the opportunities that are probably best serving our organization moving forward.

Bill Berthel

So talk to me about getting over that hump because you’re connecting something for me. I’ll be guilty of this at times where it’s like I’m too tired to exercise. I’m too tired to relate. That event sounds great. Or that dinner party sounds wonderful. I’m just too tired to say yes to the darn thing.

Ralph Simone

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

How do I get over that hump or whatever it is, you know?

Ralph Simone

You know, what a way. Yeah. Because this is hard.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

A way is to do it right away or look further out. The action that you want to be quick on is looking further out in your calendar when you start to have a little bit more time as a way to get started. Sometimes people feel so overloaded they can’t see their way clear the next day or two. So how do you get a little bit more visibility into your calendar? But I also think this comes back to the small steps.

Bill Berthel

Right.

Ralph Simone

I’m reminded I just wrote a blog based on a John Wooden book. The Hall of Fame coach at UCLA basketball. Be quick, but don’t hurry. And for me, that means get started with a small step, and so around the exercise. Don’t make it an exercise routine. Walk more steps today than you did yesterday. Take the stairs, not the elevator. Begin to do things that are immediately within your control, that you have agency around, that don’t require any special equipment, any special appointment. Get some momentum with those things. The agency builds the confidence. And then now you’re ready to look at, all right, now I want to map out time for exercise two weeks out. Right. So be quick around what you need to vet, but don’t hurry in vetting it. And so I don’t think they’re following process. I think people are hurrying around their calendar, filling it with activity, back to back, jamming it without really having some space for creative thinking, for incubation, strategic thinking, you know, so be quick to pursue something, but don’t hurry to close it out until you’ve done some research. I think people are in a hurry to have an opinion without really necessarily grounding the data, you know, to say that, you know, let’s take AI for example. To say that it’s the savior or to say it’s going to ruin us. Neither one of those things is true. And so it’s really kind of digging in and learning about it and how can it be useful for you and your business? But what are the implications of it?

Bill Berthel

I think you’re right. So I think in times of uncertainty we like to polarize, don’t we?

Ralph Simone

Sure.

Bill Berthel

We like to try to anchor to something because we’re a little uncertain.

Ralph Simone

One of the reasons we’re in a hurry to have strong opinions is that has the illusion of certainty.

Bill Berthel

Yeah. Right. Right.

Ralph Simone

And I think we’re better off coming back to our values, our principles.

Bill Berthel

Yes.

Ralph Simone

So values are self-selected. Principles are more universal.

Bill Berthel

Yes.

Ralph Simone

And coming back to the core, coming back to our mission, our purpose, our sense of being. And I think it’s a little bit more about balancing the tension. A lot of doing going on.

Bill Berthel

There is a lot of doing. Yeah. Ah.

Ralph Simone

And the question is, is it being done with being who we’re being while we’re doing it? And I think you can. Yeah. There’s always more to do than time to do it. And maybe it seems like even more than that today, but you’ve got to intentionally build in those pauses, those times to get grounded, those times to be more thoughtful, those times to be relating. And it’s leading potentially to this answer of how do I get involved in the community in a larger way.

Bill Berthel

Yeah. Ah.

Ralph Simone

And, you know, sometimes I think I’m too quick to say, well, I’ll run for this.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

Well, it may evolve to that, may lead to that.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

But that’s. I don’t think that’s the right place to start because actually that’s where it becomes overwhelming. Well, where do I go? Whereas if you boil down to something you’re interested in and passionate about and you begin to do that research, and that’s agency. See, that I have total control.

Bill Berthel

What I also hear in that is you’re actually building certainty, which, yes. Instead of expecting certainty to just fall upon you, you’re building.

Ralph Simone

And at some point, if you’re going to throw your hat in the ring, you’ve got to have, what’s your platform? Yeah, well, you’ve been.

Bill Berthel

You better be pretty solid if you’re expecting people to back you up. Right.

Ralph Simone

And that’s the beginning of what could be. So that’s where the certainty is. Those are the actions you can take.

Bill Berthel

That’s cool.

Ralph Simone

And I think prior to that, it was too big.

Bill Berthel

Oh, well, it’s everything.

Ralph Simone

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Or it’s anything.

Ralph Simone

Yeah. And so then. So how do you translate that in? And I think that’s. It’s the microcosm of the macrocosm. Yeah. It was interesting. I was listening to a podcast the other day, and it was a Native American. He said, you know, we have systems. They’re just different systems, different tools. So the idea of being tuned into the land versus having these tech, he actually said he has different technology. And the technology is actually the technology of being tuned into nature, which that was fascinating. I think that’s another thing. If we really want to reset our nervous system, if we really want to get a command of where we should be going, spend more time in nature.

Bill Berthel

Oh, absolutely.

Ralph Simone

Because that will be a reset. And in the inspiration and the ideation that can come from that.

Bill Berthel

It’s essential for me personally. I know that I need to be outside, even in Central New York in the middle of January when the weather may not be as good. Being outside for me is that. Is that reset? I actually keep a separate journal. That is just my outdoor nature.

Ralph Simone

Really?

Bill Berthel

Yeah. I actually have a wooden pen, so it’s as natural as I can get. Right. And it’s not a. It’s special to me, but it’s not a special journal. And I will not, as often as I would almost like to, and probably not as often as I need. It’s usually practically medicinal that I get outside and usually by water and spend some time journaling. I come to my clearest answers. And I’ll share one with you.

Ralph Simone

Sure.

Bill Berthel

Please. Because it actually helped me say yes to joining Emergent almost 10 years ago. I was riverside with this journal. And I was really reflecting on what I wanted in a career move or a work professional move. And I told myself, I really want to be needed. My cell phone rang. I didn’t think to keep the cell phone in the truck, or I didn’t turn it off. My cell phone rang. And it was a big challenge at my then employer. And so I’m troubleshooting on the phone with the production manager and. Right. And I put the phone down. I’m like, I don’t want to be needed. I want to be wanted. I got up from where I was sitting, I walked a little bit, and Kathy Gaynor called me. I can’t make this up. And it was a feeling of being wanted, not needed. And it wasn’t without taking that walk, doing some journaling. And for me, being beside water, being out in nature, that I think channeled that or allowed that to happen. Yeah, I just recently read an article, I think it was in Psychology Today, that suggested we’re not taking those breaks, that we have the radio on in the car, listening to a podcast or the earbuds when we’re taking. We might be out in nature, but we have our earbuds in. Our brains are so stimulated. That’s actually adding to the uncertainty, exhaustion.

Ralph Simone

That’s a huge point. When people think they are relaxing, they are, in fact, adding to the heightened fight or flight. They’re multitasking. They’re not relaxing. They’re adding another task. They’re achieving another thing. I’m getting two things done at once. They’re constantly on, right. And they don’t realize it. And it’s really. That one sneaks up on you. I’m glad you brought that up because you think you’re doing something that’s good, but you’re. You’re keeping that sympathetic nervous system on call. Correct. The whole time. You think about in meditative state, in a suggestive state, in a state where we can probably begin to influence the subconscious. That’s that alpha brainwave. That’s not in beta. And so when you’re on the elliptical, listening to a podcast, you’re in beta brainwave. And so you are not really relaxing. You’re counting that as energy renewal. And to some extent it is, but it’s not the full thing. I mean, I think a great experiment. I think I’ll try it. No radio in the car. Right. No music. And, you know, I know some people are uplifted by music.

Bill Berthel

Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes.

Ralph Simone

But just try to just be quiet.

Bill Berthel

Yes.

Ralph Simone

And not to have to do anything. So I stopped. I no longer wear a device, partly because it broke. So I’d like to say this was a very strategic decision. But, you know, I was starting to get caught up in number of steps. Oh. And I’m thinking, so I’m really not present to the step. I’m only present to whether I get 10,000 or not. And, you know, we did the walking meditation from Thich Nhat Hanh as part of our recent Forward retreat. Right. And I have remembered the line from there, arriving in every step.

Ralph Simone

That has a pretty profound impact on being more present and quieting the mind. But I think if we go back, we talked about relating earlier. Balancing relating. And it’s relating with the land, it’s relating with the present moment, it’s relating with ourselves in balancing that with achieving. We are so achievement oriented. How quickly can we get these data centers stood up? How quickly can we. There’s some good stuff associated with it. But we’re so quick to, what’s next? It was a line that I used to like and then grew to dislike on The West Wing. What’s next?

Bill Berthel

What’s next?

Ralph Simone

What’s next? What’s next? And I think that puts us in that overload, that achievement orientation to the point that we are actually not coming up with the creative solutions that serve most people. Yeah.

Bill Berthel

Yeah. So we’re not asking our listeners to put this podcast down, but there are podcasts. Maybe we could pause. Maybe we can be fully present for the podcast, not do something else.

Ralph Simone

Yeah. Well, imagine if that were the case. And what would you. So I listened to the podcast that you just mentioned twice.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

I’m going to listen to it a third because I listened to it the first time on the elliptical.

Bill Berthel

Yeah. Yeah. Doing something else. Right.

Ralph Simone

Yeah.

Bill Berthel

I’m guilty of it too.

Ralph Simone

Let me come clean on that. And then I’m still listening to it in the car and driving.

Bill Berthel

Yeah.

Ralph Simone

With my wife because I’m so interested.

Bill Berthel

Yep.

Ralph Simone

But I’m actually working to fit it in too. Not with her.

Bill Berthel

Yeah. Oh, right, right. Of course you are. But not present with.

Ralph Simone

Yeah. So then I listened to it yesterday with almost no distractions, no note taking. Just listen.

Bill Berthel

Just listening.

Ralph Simone

I want to listen to it a third time. And I think my little experiment will be listening while sitting outside, not walking. Right. Because, yeah. Find a place by. You just listen while sitting. Sitting outside. Because he makes a lot of points around nature and things. But it’s interesting to me that, you know, we teach what we need to learn. I don’t have this stuff figured out, but I do feel hopeful that there are small experiments that I can be quick with but not hurry, that will be more grounding, that will provide a sense of agency, that will help me be more confident, which will consequently provide me with more agility and adaptability and flexibility. But so finding the times. Be quick to find a time that works for you so that you don’t have to hurry to practice. I think those are the things that we need to constantly be looking for. And my confidence is in the people. It’s in the process. It’s not in the certainty. It’s not that I know the answer. I mean, I think I recall from my Covey training, you know, Covey talked about paradigms, right? Your map, your map of the world. And I don’t know if he said this or I just made it up after listening to him, that at best our paradigms are incomplete; at worst, they’re wrong. And so I think my map of the world is at best incomplete. And that, ah, is a little bit liberating because I don’t need to be certain. What I want to be certain about is that I am practicing the things physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally that will allow me the adaptability as things change, because we know things will change.

Bill Berthel

Beautiful, Ralph. Thank you.

Ralph Simone

Thanks, Bill.

Bill Berthel

Thank you for being here today, and we hope you picked something up from this episode that you can apply, and we hope you’re looking forward to more. Thanks for being here.