While traveling recently, I ran into an unexpected and uncomfortable situation. A small but important travel expense, one I had assumed was already taken care of, turned out to be my responsibility. I hadn’t budgeted for it, and I didn’t find out until we arrived at our destination.
In that moment, I felt embarrassed, insecure, and exposed. It wasn’t just the cost–it was the surprise. I hadn’t planned for it, and that stirred up something deeper: vulnerability.
Part of me wanted to avoid the conflict altogether. I caught myself strategizing how I could quietly find a cash machine, pay the expense, and move on like nothing happened. That instinct to absorb discomfort instead of naming it is one I’ve followed many times before. But lately, I’ve been challenging that reflex.
Instead of shrinking back, I chose to speak up. I revisited the original point of communication and raised the issue. To their credit, the person I spoke with responded with genuine grace. They listened carefully, took ownership of the miscommunication, and even went out of their way to make things right–not just for me, but for others who may have been affected.
It was a small moment on the surface, but it echoed a bigger pattern I see in leadership and life: discomfort often signals an invitation to engage more honestly. When we resist that invitation, we protect short-term peace at the expense of long-term trust.
When we’re under pressure, whether on the road, in a team meeting, or leading through uncertainty, our stress responses can take over. We get quiet. We avoid. We appease. We push through. But here’s what I’m learning: our discomfort isn’t the enemy. It’s data we can learn from. And often, it’s the doorway to deeper clarity and connection.
For Reflection:
- When was the last time you felt discomfort in a professional setting? How did you respond?
- What might shift if you saw those moments not as interruptions to avoid, but as indicators to explore?
- Are there conversations in your world right now that feel awkward but necessary?
- Every leader, regardless of title, will face moments where something feels “off” and unclear.
- Speaking up in those moments doesn’t always lead to a perfect resolution. But it does cultivate something that’s in short supply in many organizations: realness.
When we model clear, courageous communication, we invite others to do the same. Being vulnerable and open is the best thing we can do, for ourselves and those around us.
If you’re interested in developing better ways of responding to discomfort, send me an email at [email protected].
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