The Power of “I Don’t Know”

Many believe the harmful misconception that leaders should have all the answers. Yet, in my experience as a leadership coach, I’ve discovered that the most transformative breakthroughs often happen when leaders openly admit, “I don’t know.” These words, rather than an admission of inadequacy, can be a starting point for growth and innovation—if we learn to embrace their power.

Leaders often feel compelled to apologize before admitting their limitations, often saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t know.” But here’s the thing—there’s nothing to be sorry about. The questions leaders face are complicated and without obvious answers. Not knowing exactly what to do, immediately after being presented with a problem, is not the failure some leaders assume it to be. It is merely an acknowledgement that more information is needed to make the best possible decision.

When leaders allow themselves to say “I don’t know” without apology, they signal openness and humility to their team, fostering a culture of learning, collaboration, and trust. This simple acknowledgment invites others to join in problem-solving, creating an environment where the best ideas can emerge.

What Keeps Leaders From Saying “I Don’t Know”?

If this acknowledgement is so powerful, why do so many leaders struggle with it? Here are the most common reasons I’ve gleaned in my coaching sessions:

1. Fear: Leaders may worry that saying “I don’t know” will be perceived as a weakness. They are afraid of the consequences of acknowledging their limitations. This fear can keep them from taking a vulnerable yet essential step toward growth.
2. Ego and Pride: For some, admitting a gap in knowledge can feel like a loss of authority or respect. Leaders may think they need to know everything to be credible or to maintain control. In some cases, their sense of self worth is tied to an unrealistic expectation of perfection.
3. Attribution Bias: Often, people attribute their successes to internal capabilities, without recognizing the broader context in which the success occurred. In these cases, they believe they “should” know all the answers, as if future success depends entirely on their knowledge and decisions. This can make it harder to acknowledge when they just don’t know.

Yet, as Fritz Perls, a founder of Gestalt Therapy, once said, “Fear is excitement without breath.” If we can recognize saying “I don’t know” as an opportunity, rather than a danger or capitulation, we may find that admitting what we don’t know actually opens the door to discovery, innovation, and genuine leadership.

“I Don’t Know” as a Gateway to Possibility

In my experience, admitting “I don’t know” is the gateway to what might have otherwise seemed impossible. It allows leaders to move from uncertainty to possibility by identifying blind spots and gathering insights. By acknowledging what they don’t know, leaders gain the freedom to ask critical questions like:

• “Who can help us with this?”
• “Where do we need to look for answers?”
• “What perspectives are we missing?”

These questions move the conversation beyond limitations to a place of collective exploration and innovation. Leaders who embrace this approach encourage their teams to think beyond their own expertise, inviting creativity and collaboration to bridge knowledge gaps.

Making “I Don’t Know” Part of Your Leadership Style

So, how can leaders get more comfortable with saying “I don’t know” and use it as a tool for growth? Here are a few tips:

• Reframe the Phrase: Recognize “I don’t know” as an invitation for insight, not an admission of failure. This reframing shifts the focus from self-judgment to an open-minded approach to problem-solving.
• Model Curiosity: Demonstrate that asking questions is just as valuable as having answers. By leading with curiosity, you’ll set the tone for a learning-oriented culture.
• Celebrate Discovery: When your team helps fill knowledge gaps, celebrate those moments. Recognize and reward collective insight and problem-solving.

Leadership is not about knowing everything; it’s about guiding a team through challenges and uncertainties with resilience and openness. By embracing what you don’t know, you create space for new ideas and foster a culture that values curiosity and collective wisdom. After all, the greatest leaders aren’t the ones with all the answers—they’re the ones with the courage to ask the most important questions.