Open to Everything, Attached to Nothing, and Expert in Something

In a recent consulting skills class that I was leading, a participant asked a familiar question: What makes a good consultant? I replied, “A good consultant is open to everything, attached to nothing, and expert in something.” It is the first time I answered the question in that fashion—I think it would make a good bumper sticker! But I would like to explore each of the three elements in more depth to make sure there is substance beneath the catchiness.

When you are open to everything, nothing throws you off. Saying yes to whatever unfolds is one of the easiest ways to develop equanimity and live a peaceful existence. I love this quote from Will Wise that relates to questions but could easily refer to life: “If you are not open to what will happen after a question is asked, then it is not an open question. If you are not available to all responses, then you are not open.” Openness is an attitude, one that enables you to respond to every challenge with clarity and creativity.

One of the ways that we can become more open is to cultivate curiosity. While we may struggle to remain open to someone’s opinion or point of view, we can shift our energy by getting curious as to how they came to think that way. This curiosity softens our judgment and allows us to respond without fear to things that challenge our perspective.

Next, attachment to nothing. Attachment to any particular outcome in life brings suffering, because we cannot control how things shake out. While we can take responsibility for our labor and efforts, we should not become attached to the fruits of our labor. There are too many universal variables at play. According to the Bhagavad Gita, “Fulfilling one’s duty as an offering of service without attachment to outcome and without any investment in one’s role to outcome.“

Of course, it’s normal to become attached, but a habit of attachment is unhealthy and can prevent us from experiencing something that is better than the thing we were expecting. In the case of consultancy, attachment diminishes our capacity for openness and causes us to take things too personally. When a consultant is attached to nothing, they are able to make better decisions with less anxiety.

Last, expert in something. Expertise makes us credible. Focusing on something that lights us up and taps into our passion not only makes us useful—it makes us someone that others enjoy being around. And if there is one underlying passion that animates all others, it is the drive to be a continuous learner. A commitment to continuous learning is a commitment both to openness and nonattachment. As we learn and grow, we let go of things that are outdated and no longer work for us. We are able to evolve because we know that everything is impermanent, including what we know and what we have become comfortable with.

If you’re interested in increasing your leadership agility and sense of wellbeing, cultivate and practice being open to everything, attached to nothing, and expert in something. And if you’d like some help on the path, send me an email at ralph@getemergent.com.