It’s the time of year to set resolutions, and I’ve got mine: Stop resisting what is and grasping at what I don’t have.
I have been doing a lot of introspective work recently and once again am getting the opportunity to relearn a lesson. Simply stated, I am repeatedly tripped up by the illusion of control. My fundamental fear of impermanence (read: dying) keeps me striving for an unreachable perfection, and this striving leads most often to dissatisfaction and frustration.
I need to remember: I am both broken and whole at the same time. My imperfections are part of a larger perfection; I am exactly where I need to be on my journey. Most of the disappointment and suffering I experience is caused by fighting reality rather than accepting it.
Nothing lasts forever. It’s not supposed to. At times, things fall apart. When this happens, and it will, people tend to find ways to avoid it, rather than meeting it head-on. We work, exercise, shop, worry–anything but acknowledge and accept. I, for one, think about reinventing myself, as if the “new me” will be immune to impermanence and impervious to all future challenges.
It is time for me to lean into whatever happens, to know and accept that things break down. The more comfortable I can get with groundlessness the more connected I will become with my true self. When we can be confident in our identity no matter what happens to us, we have achieved true peace.
As the new year begins, I leave you with these powerful words from Pema Chödrön. Let us all be more attuned with reality, less resistant to the present moment, and more courageous in the face of inevitable change.
“Perhaps there is no solid obstacle except our own need to protect ourselves from being touched”
– Pema Chödrön
If you are seeking strength and encouragement, feel free to reach out at ralph@getemergent.com. I’d be happy to help you make 2024 your best year yet.
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