A common tactic in leadership development (so common it sounds like a cliche) is shifting mindsets. If a client is struggling with motivation, self-doubt, or getting along with their team, I often encourage them to think differently: “You’re operating from a fixed mindset; maybe adopting a growth mindset would help you solve this problem.” Carol Dweck wrote a whole book on the subject (aptly titled Mindset: The New Psychology of Success), which we use frequently in our programs.
But I’ve noticed a problem with this framework: I don’t like being told how to think! When colleagues and friends suggest a mindset shift to me, I tend to bristle. I’d like to think that I am not closed-minded, especially as a lifelong learner who is deeply interested in finding new perspectives. Still, that bristling, that resistance, reliably arises when I read or listen to someone telling me I need to think differently. And I think I know why that is.
Mindset shifts fail if there are underlying emotional blockages. We all carry “stuff” with us, deep-seated emotional baggage, whether we know it or not. Emotional Intelligence work can help to surface some of these problems, but even that sometimes stops at the cognitive level. A coach or mentor might ask you to think differently about an emotion, but that is not nearly the same as feeling differently about it. The work of truly addressing emotional blockages is deep and personal, and on an entirely different level than a shift in mindset.
I often find myself qualifying mindset work with the disclaimer, “Assuming there’s no pathology in place, we can shift our mindsets.” By pathology, I refer to any persistent emotional blockage that impedes my clients’ ability to control their thoughts and behavior. But “pathology” may be too specific and clinical a term to describe the general problem: the foundational challenge of making our way in the world while carrying our emotional baggage. Blockages are natural developments. It is normal, and indeed inescapable, to run into the limits of our openness. We all bristle. We all resist positive change when it runs counter to a deeply-felt emotion.
Here’s an example. Say I have a client who is constantly overworked. I might suggest a shift toward a delegation mindset; my client should focus on distributing tasks among other team members to maximize efficiency and ease their personal burden. A perfectly rational suggestion, right? But say this client, in a previous job, once delegated a task to someone who dropped the ball. A contract was lost because of this mistake. As a result, the client struggles with issues of trust and control. They have developed a habit of micromanaging to alleviate the fear they feel when tasks are out of their hands. Do you see how merely suggesting a shift in mindset will do little to change this person’s behavior?
Cognitive frameworks, attitudes, and mindsets–the areas most often covered in leadership training–all exist on the intellectual plane. This is an incomplete approach to development. Emotions will always over-ride logic in high-stress situations. Our biggest gap in leadership development is treating growth as knowledge-based instead of emotional development-based. We can rationalize our emotions as much as we want, but problems of the heart and body cannot be solved by the intellect alone.
Leaders can help their colleagues surface and address emotional blockages. There are many ways to accomplish this, including Jungian shadow work (a favorite of mine), mindfulness practices like meditation, and Emotional Intelligence workshops. Creating a culture of acceptance around mental health can also empower your team to be more open about their emotions.
More important than anything else is a simple acknowledgement that emotions matter. They undergird everything that happens at the cognitive level. I challenge you to model vulnerability with your teams. Discussing your own emotional blockages in an open forum will demonstrate to your team that the things they feel are not only acceptable, but highly relevant to their effectiveness and to the success of the organization!
If you’re interested in delving into your inner world to achieve lasting growth, send me an email at [email protected].
Comments (2)
Hello Bill:
This really resonated with me. I am working with a mentor on emotional intelligence, and it has made me realize that mindset shifts alone are not always enough. Sometimes there are underlying emotions, past experiences, or fears that make change difficult.
What I am still working through is how to bring this concept to my team without revealing too much of my own journey. I believe self-awareness and vulnerability are important leadership traits, but I also think there is a balance. How do others help their teams recognize the role emotions play in growth, trust, and decision-making while maintaining professional boundaries?
Denise,
Thanks for reading and commenting and glad this resonated with you. Your question is very interesting. Not to sound too self promoting, but I wonder if you’d share this blog post with your team to read and facilitate a discussion with them? I go there as a possibility becasue when a resource is shared, especially one that is read or listened to, the reader or listener has the opportunity to “own and relate” to the inforamtion as compared to being told about a topic or idea.
I absolutely hear you that there’s a healthy boundary to how much we share of our own journey as well… let’s keep leaning into that space as leaders. We get to lead what becomes “normal” on our teams and cultures and if we’re not talking about the difficult and important topics, who will? 🙂
Let me know!