A coaching client asked me recently if I thought a person could change their belief system. I knew the question was rooted in this person’s self-doubt; they’d been worried for a while about their relationships to work, money, and the people around them, and desired change. I answered how any decent coach would…with a question! I replied: “Sometimes people change their belief systems, but I’m curious, why do you think your belief system needs to change?”
My client reminded me that, earlier in our coaching engagement, I suggested that the patterns of our thoughts inform our patterned behaviors. My client then extended this framework: if our thinking informs our behavior, then our beliefs must inform our thinking. As a result, any significant change in behavior is the downstream effect of a change in belief. I felt like I was in a really good chess game and was about to hear “check-mate” from across the table.
A good working definition of belief is “accepting something to be true or false without the need of proof.” This wholesale acceptance is the real culprit, if you ask me. When we accept something as fact without investigation, it may as well be true; we treat it as such. But when we peel back the layers of the proverbial onion, we are forced to ask when, where, how, and why we first accepted that belief. It no longer seems so inviolable, and, perhaps, starts to look pliable.
I’ll take a firm stand now: I know that belief systems can change. I’ve changed mine. That doesn’t mean everyone can or will change theirs, but I know it can be done. It can be done intentionally (through self-directed means), conditionally over time (as we absorb and assimilate the belief systems that surround us), and conditionally at an accelerated rate (if you join the right cult).
I used to believe some incredibly naïve things. Most of these beliefs were finally dispelled by contrary proof; finding evidence to refute a belief is one of the most common ways to change. This is why lifelong learning is so important. Education is founded on the principle of sharing knowledge, which exposes the pupil to new information that will affect their thinking and beliefs. This is one of the reasons leadership coaching is so effective!
But some beliefs are highly resistant to change, particularly the things we believe about ourselves. To really change, we have to be open to learning something new.
Carol Dwek, author of Mindset, explains that the Growth Mindset allows new information to challenge existing knowledge and beliefs, while the Fixed Mindset remains committed to existing knowledge and experiences. One is not inherently better than the other. For instance: if we’re concerned about staying true to our values, we might exhibit some Fixed Mindset traits. After all, it would be difficult to trust someone who changed their values every time they attended an ethics seminar or read a book on morality. But when it comes to, say, developing new technology (or increasing self-confidence) we’d like to hope that the folks in charge have a Growth Mindset.
And what about leaders? What mindset should we adopt?
You see the clear answer here…it’s a both/and. We need leaders to adhere to values and stay on mission like a terrier holds a bone. We also need leaders to be adaptable, flexible, and constantly growing. Leaders are learners. They grow, and in so doing challenge everyone around them to grow!
My client was absolutely right: change begins in our belief systems. We must remain curious about our assumptions, and regularly ask whether they are holding us back or propelling us forward. We must stay true to our core values but open to new information, especially when it challenges our beliefs. In other words, know thyself, but know also that nothing is set in stone!
If you’d like help navigating a change in your belief system, send me an email at [email protected].
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