Luck

I’ve been thinking a lot about how lucky I’ve been. Things I once took for granted–that I was born a white American male into a financially stable family–I now recognize as having given me a massive advantage over most of the human population.

I came into this world on second base, and I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I did not earn these privileges; I just got lucky. And while I feel I’ve used my advantages wisely and responsibly, I do fully realize that I had a head start.

My reflections brought me back to a definition of luck that I first heard spoken by Earl Nightingale, an American radio host and author whose work centered on personal development. He defined luck as “when opportunity meets preparedness.”

As I reflect on opportunity, I return to the uncomfortable idea that the system is rigged for people who look like me. Obviously there are exceptions, and obviously no single identity-marker (race, gender, income level, etc.) is deterministic on an individual level. We all know of people who have squandered their wealth and privilege through personal shortcomings, and those who, conversely, have risen above adversity and prejudice to find success.

But these exceptions prove the rule. The idea that good things happen to good people who work hard, while appealing to self-help gurus, fails to account for the many randomly-assigned variables that people are dealt. All the skill, talent, grit, and moral character in the world does not guarantee success. Why is that? And how can we continue to shift things so that Earl Nightingale’s definition of luck applies to everyone?

I don’t know the answer to these questions, but it seems important to put them out there. And in the meantime, while we wait for the moral universe to tend toward justice, I want to offer a small observation that might help us all get a little more lucky. It has to do with the other part of Nightingale’s definition: preparedness.

During my reflection, I started drifting to the “dark side” and thinking of the times when I’ve felt unlucky. Usually, this feeling arose when I realized I had missed a big opportunity. Then, I hit a breakthrough: nearly every time I’ve felt unlucky it’s because I was so focused on achieving a particular outcome that I let an alternate, often preferable outcome pass me by.

This resonated with me because I feel that at times, I can be so focused on a particular expectation or outcome that I leave everything else out. I am so fixated on an imagined ideal that I develop tunnel vision, and am not prepared to see an opportunity when it’s right in front of me. For this reason, I now believe that a major attribute of lucky people is that they are relaxed.

By being relaxed and open, we allow ourselves to be pleasantly surprised by the nudges the Universe gives to us. This requires balancing the tension between curiosity and focus in a way that helps us see our lives, our goals, and ourselves from multiple angles.

And for those of us looking to increase our luck, we can begin experimenting with and trying new things. By seeing and doing the same things repeatedly, by closing ourselves to new possibilities, we are limiting (to quote Mary Oliver) “our one wild and precious life.”

This was a sudden and significant shift in my understanding of what being prepared really means, specifically in the context of luck. It’s not just about the disciplined study, hard work, responsibility, and dedication to learning specific things, but also, and maybe more importantly, the cultivation and development of openness, psychological adaptability, and risk taking. These attributes will help me be ready to answer when opportunity comes knocking.

If you are looking to increase your luck in life and become better prepared to both see and seek opportunities, contact me at [email protected].