My wife and I enjoy British TV shows. Yes, we were die-hard Downton Abbey fans, (at least until they killed off *******, whose name I am redacting in case any of you plan to watch it). I could list off any number of others we’ve finished, from detective mysteries to domestic dramedies…there’s just something about the shows they make across the pond that keeps us coming back!
Part of the appeal for me is noticing the beautiful differences between American-English and British-English. The way they pronounce words like “aluminum” and “schedule” is strange and fascinating, and it’s always a delight to learn new words particular to the various British dialects (although I am firm in my stance that the American word “windshield” is far more accurate than the British “windscreen”; screens allow passage of air and water, shields do not).
There is one particular British phrase I have come to adore. When a British person is wondering what action they should take, they often say, “What am I meant to do?” Americans, on the other hand, usually say “What am I supposed to do?” The difference between the two expressions is subtly powerful, and it’s taken on significant meaning for me.
As Americans, we are eager to jump into the action. I love this about our culture, especially as a person of action myself. I do not sit still well, particularly if there’s s*** to get done! But sometimes I worry that this causes us to rush into things. This is why I am so drawn to “What am I meant to do?” The words ground me in a deeper appreciation for the meaning of the action I’m about to take—the word mean is right in there, after all! Asking this question helps me slow down and think about my actions before taking them. It reminds me to ponder multiple angles and connect the dots between my values, obligations, and opportunities. In other words, it encourages contemplation!
Through the ages, philosophers, spiritual leaders, and deep thinkers have debated the dichotomy of contemplation and action. These two forces sometimes seem to be at odds with one another. The archetype of the contemplative person may well be that famous Rodin sculpture, The Thinker—someone so lost in thought they are not even looking at the world around them. The person of action, on the other hand, might bring to mind soldiers on horseback or stockbrokers on Wall Street, making decisive, split-second decisions. Neither of these characterizations is quite fair.
The “person of contemplation” is skilled at finding quiet, reflective moments in which to connect with their thoughts and feelings. It’s not that they’re indecisive; rather, they understand the value of seeking deep spiritual, intellectual, or personal truth through stillness rather than action. In my business partner Ralph Simone’s new book, Slow Down to Go Faster, he shares several wonderful stories demonstrating the importance of slowing our pace to make space for thoughtful action. It’s an excellent read to better understand what we at Emergent believe: contemplation and action are equally essential.
The most effective leaders take the both/and approach to contemplation and action. They are thoughtful, but action-oriented; they are unafraid of making decisions, but will inform themselves fully before doing so, and usually include others in the process. They are not sitting atop a mountain in yogi pose, detached from the real world—they are thinking, talking, listening, and doing. But all this action is supported and enhanced by their quieter practices, like reflecting, journaling, and meditating.
In other words, the best leaders don’t ask themselves, “What am I supposed to do?” but “What am I meant to do?” That little bit of meaning makes all the difference!
If you’d like to know more, pick up Ralph’s book here.
Or reach out to me and the team by sending me an email at [email protected].
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