I’ll Take The Blame!

My colleagues will tell you that when it comes to blame, I like to take it.

As a middle child, taking the blame for something was a way of creating harmony for others in the family by absorbing the burden. But it was more than that: it demonstrated that I may have actually accomplished something. I’m pleased to take credit for any action, even one with mixed results, if it shows that I made an honest attempt. Even as an adult, when there is a hint of blame in the air, I am first to step up to claim it. “I’ll take the blame, thank you, it means I did something. And that means you can’t accuse me of doing nothing!”

Yes, the humor of that declaration is the real gift. It shifts the energy to a more constructive place that helps resolve the issue at hand in a creative and useful way. And I must admit that I have not had many opportunities to use this tactic recently, as my current team does not cast blame often.

This brings me to the main subject of this blog: the fundamental attribution error (FAE) and its role in how blame is cast. The FAE holds that we tend to attribute good acts by allies to their character, and bad acts by allies to situational factors. On the flip side, if an opponent does something good, we tend to attribute that action to luck, circumstance, or some other factor beyond their control. If an opponent does something bad, well, of course they did–it’s in their nature!

When I’m with my colleagues, I’m with a group of allies. I can say that with confidence because we have worked to attain high levels of trust and psychological safety. We take the time to align our purpose, communicate clearly, and have challenging conversations to keep organizational trust high. Among a group like this, taking the blame for something is a very low-risk event. The attribution error is in my favor. If I take the blame, say, for losing a client, my team will most likely come to my defense, suggesting the situation was complex, the client was in the wrong, the economy is bad… rather than my actions, values, or character, the real culprit is elsewhere. Despite having taken the blame, I emerge with my reputation unscathed.

When I am not among allies, the risk is greater. If I were to take the blame for the same lost client while among opponents, my character would be under the microscope. “What did you say to tick them off? They must not have liked you.” They’d give me less grace, and form the conclusion that I, and I alone, am at fault.  Same situation, different results.

I consider myself lucky to work at Emergent, where all of my colleagues are allies. But not all are so fortunate. Are there any opponents in your workplace? If the answer is yes, there is work to be done to turn them into allies. Alignment on mission, goals, and objectives are essential to this project. If the entire team is on board with the mission, everyone is fundamentally on the same side. You can still disagree on how to accomplish the mission. You can even have healthy competition in workgroups, task teams, etc., competing for outcomes around the same goal, while remaining allies.

The work of building alignment, trust, and allyship counteracts the tendency to polarize and judge. If we fail to do this, we put our teams at risk of the ultimate attribution error: prejudice toward an individual or group without evidence. That attitude will never grow a team.

Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to see these dynamics at play outside of our organizations, both in our communities and wider society. I don’t think what we are seeing is a political issue alone. In general, we have conditioned ourselves to be harsher and quicker judges of “the other guy.” Humans have been putting people in categories for thousands of years. It’s easier to fear and judge “the other guy” than to engage and connect with them. Connecting is hard work, and we’re tired of giving the benefit of the doubt. But it’s the responsibility of the leader to fight through that fatigue, to connect before judging, and to bring as many allies as possible into the fold.

As a leader, I’d like to challenge you to create more connections, more integrated systems, and more growth through learning and creativity. Fight back against fear, judgement, and polarization. Give people the opportunity to prove themselves–give them second chances. Think of everyone you meet as a potential ally! It’s much more fun than seeing opponents around every corner, I promise.

If this resonated with you and you’re interested in connection, conversation, and support, please reach out to me at [email protected]. And if it doesn’t work, I’ll take the blame.